Standard Disclaimer

We advise that anyone who is easily offended by anything should not come to this event. Action figures sold separately. For external use only. Beware of dog. No substitutions allowed. Some equipment shown is optional. Article is provided “as is” without any warranties. Shading within a garment may occur. Safe and effective when used as directed. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB’s, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Monitor not included. Pre-recorded for this time zone. No shirt, no shoes – no service. No user-serviceable parts inside. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Post office will not deliver without postage. Subject to CAB approval. No money down. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Not sold in stores. No purchase necessary. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Keep away from pets and small children. This Agreement does not grant you any rights. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Vitamins A, D, E, and K have been added. Falling rock. Limited delivery area. Price does not include taxes. Not valid with other offers or specials. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. For recreational use only. Add toner. May cause excitability, epecially in children. Do not speak to the driver. This unit not labeled for retail sale. List at least two alternate dates. All rights reserved. Do not disturb. Not responsible for lost or stolen articles. Reader assumes full responsibility. Read at your own risk. No Canadian coins. Don’t quote me on that. Assembled in USA. See label for sequence. May be too intense for some viewers. Instructions are included. No solicitors. New customers only. Does not apply for business or convention travel. Phenylketonurics: contains phenylalanine. Membership dues are not refundable. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Persuant to all federal regulations, past, present and future. Place stamp here. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Times approximate. In the event of litigation, you are liable for all legal fees. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Sold as a novelty item only. For temporary relief of minor aches and pains. Close cover before striking. Your canceled check is your receipt. Sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Employees and their families are not eligible. No preservatives added. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Your mileage may vary. As seen on TV. Children must be accompanied by an adult. No animals were harmed during testing. Use at own risk. This article is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Not designed or intended for use in on-line control of aircraft, air traffic, aircraft navigation or aircraft communications; or in the design, construction, operation or maintenance of any nuclear facility. Do not put in eyes. Closed weekends and holidays. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. For off-road use only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading. No other warranty expressed or implied. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. Drop in any mailbox. Employees and authorized personnel only. Slippery when wet. Nap was here. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not apply to broken skin. May cause abdominal cramping and loose stools. Use only as directed. See other side for additional listings. Approved for veterans. Don’t quote me on anything. If condition persists, consult your physician. Not recommended for children. Read label for instructions. Avoid alcoholic beverages while using this product. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of Agreement. This disclaimer limits our liability. Many suitcases look alike. Keep out of reach of children. Mind the gap. Printed on recycled paper. This tag may not to be removed except by consumer under penalty of law. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. For a limited time only. Card subject to change. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Safety goggles may be required during use. Use of the Software is governed by the terms of the end user license agreement. Contents may settle during shipment. Replace with same type. Keep hands and feet away from moving parts at all times. Colors may fade. Management is not responsible for loss or damage. Limit one-per-family please. Keep away from fire or flames. List each check separately by bank number. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Members who have not filed a valid and timely request for exclusion shall be forever barred from suing Defendants and their past, present, and future directors, officers, employees, agents, insurers, shareholders, attorneys, advisors, consultants, representatives, partners, affiliates, parents, subsidiaries, joint venturers, independent contractors, divisions, predecessors, successors, and assigns, for any and all liabilities, claims, causes of action, damages, costs, attorneys’ fees, losses, or demands, whether known or unknown, existing or potential, or suspected or unsuspected, that were or could have been asserted in the Actions. Offer void where prohibited by law. Quantities are limited while supplies last. Apply only to affected area. When this set is used with other equipment, if the picture is not stable or the buzz sound is heard, try to change the mutual position of relevant equipment or take enough distance between them. Your financial institution may impose additional fees and charges. Call toll free number before digging. Remit in US dollars. Not the Beatles. Use extra care when cleaning on stairs. Booths for two or more. Dealer prices may vary. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Made in Taiwan. Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health. Do not try this at home. Clean with soft, dry, lint-free cloth. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Terms are subject to change without notice. No passes accepted for this engagement. All taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. If the flow controls supplied are not installed, this unit will not operate properly. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Keep cool; process promptly. Not responsible for typographical or printers errors. Licensed and bonded. Check here if tax deductible. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. This is not an offer to sell securities. An equal opportunity article. Other restrictions may apply. Do not use if seal is broken. Return to sender / no forwarding order on file / unable to forward. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Use other side for additional listings. Not available in stores. Sanitized for your protection. Subject to approval. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. You may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit from it. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. May cause any of the aforementioned effects and/or death. Special engagement — no discounts, passes or coupons accepted. Batteries not included. Do not submerge. At participating locations only. Subject to change without notice. Not a flying toy. Keep away from sunlight. Not exactly as shown. We make our mailing list available to selected organizations. List was current at time of printing. May contain traces of various nuts and seeds. No alcohol, dogs or horses. Void where prohibited. Although robust enough for general use, adventures into the esoteric periphery may reveal unexpected quirks. Offer valid only at participating sites. Caveat emptor. This technology is not fault-tolerant and is not designed, manufactured or intended for use or resale as on-line control equipment in the operation of nuclear facilities, aircraft navigation or communication systems, or air traffic control machines in which its failure could lead directly to death, personal injury, or severe physical or environmental damage. Space is limited. Read only with proper ventilation. Substantial risk of electric shock. Processed at location stamped in code at top of product. Reproduction strictly prohibited. You need not be present to win. Restaurant package, not for resale. Parental advisory – explicit lyrics. Container may explode if heated. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. To reduce printing costs, we have sent you only the forms you may need based on what you filed last year. Professional driver on closed track. Articles are ribbed for your pleasure. Penalty for private use. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Edited for television. If rash develops, discontinue use. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Celebrity voice impersonated. You must be present to win. To avoid suffocation, keep away from children. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. All models over 18 years of age. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. Contact manufacturer for list of nutrients. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Portions not affecting outcome have been edited for broadcast. Some assembly required. In case of overdose, seek professional assistance. Postage will be paid by addressee. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. You must be 18 or older to join. This license is effective until terminated. No merchantability expressed or implied. Made from 100% recycled products. For office use only. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Sign here without admitting guilt. May cause drowsiness. Package sold by weight, not volume. Failure to sign and return this form results in disqualification. This supersedes all previous notices. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. Must be 18 to read. Keep this and all chemicals out of the reach of children. Parental discretion is advised. You may not assign your rights under this Agreement to any third party. Do not write below this line. First pull up, then pull down. Do not swallow. One size fits all. Driver does not carry cash. Do not turn upside down. Do not stamp. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental.  This website generally uses words such as outlook, will, could, would, might, remains, to be, plans, believes, may, expects, intends, anticipates, estimate, future, plan, positioned, potential, project, remain, scheduled, set to, subject to, upcoming and similar expressions to identify forward-looking statements.

This supersedes all previous notices.

This disclaimer may not be copied without the express written consent of everyone I stole it from.

(Source: hashed together from multiple Internet sources.)

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