Fundamentally Boringly Average

So I took advantage of a rare Friday night without other obligations to head downtown to the Coalition Theatre for what looked to be a fascinating one-man show.

It was worth it.  Jim Zarling’s “Destroy The World With Me” was funny, fun, sometimes touching, and had an audience sing-along to “Bohemian Rhapsody”. All of it. That won’t happen again anytime soon. 🙂

In the post-show mingling with people I don’t see too often (because I’m at “my” theater across town), one of them (who will remain nameless to protect the over-exuberant) said “someday, I want to see Rob Hoffmann’s one-man show”.

What I told that person was that it took a decade to finally try improv.  I’m probably another 20 years away from a one-man show.

But on the ride home, I figured out the real problem with me ever doing a one-man show… I’m as white-bread as one gets.  I’m fundamentally, boringly, average.  And where’s the humor in that?

I’m middle-aged, single, childless, pet-less… there’s nothing in my life to hang a show on.  I’m the person someone who is funny uses to show that they’re different.  I’m not the funny one – and the straight man doesn’t get the show.

And I guess the timing is off.  My most-recent improv show was my worst by far. I had nothing – I couldn’t get out of my own way and I didn’t do anything to help my team.  I found out later that my show earned the theater a nasty Yelp review – it was live briefly, before the reviewer pulled it down.  That’s been on my mind for a while (to the point where I didn’t sign up for the Coalition’s Sunday night jam because I didn’t want to be terrible on someone else’s stage so soon after being terrible on mine).

Between wondering if I have the talent to pull off a one-man show, and realizing that I don’t have the material to do so, I guess that one friend will just have to be disappointed that they’ll never see me doing a one-man tour-de-force in this lifetime.

And we also talked about their interest in finding people to produce shows.  I’ve thought about doing that at CSz, but we get into a similar problem.  The things I’d enjoy producing would be fun for the performers and fun for me to organize – but they wouldn’t draw 10 cents if you spotted me 9.  My tastes in light entertainment are the one thing about me that isn’t average – and that’s even worse, because I like stuff that nobody else watches.  If nobody else watches, nobody’s going to buy a ticket.  And without ticket sales, no matter how fun a show is, there’s no point in putting the effort into it.

I guess what I’m saying is that not everyone is cut out to be a solo performer or a producer.  And that’s not bad, it’s just what it is. It takes all kinds to make a world, right?  Even us fundamentally, boringly, average types.

Good thing I’m good at IT support.  🙂


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