American Idol 12: Timidly Marching Forward (Finals Round 5 Results)

So… the save has to be used tonight, so it’s all rather anti-climactic… but here we go, on DVR delay from Television City…

THIS! … is American Idol!

We start with a montage of the useless judges’ useless comments… yeah, the judges had a really bad night last night.  Or maybe I did.

Oh, joy… the Top Six have to do a Bacharach-David medley, as if last night’s first hour wasn’t bad enough… I didn’t realize Soft Cell’s Naked Eyes’ “Always Something There To Remind Me”* was Bacharach-David… that’s about the only good thing about the medley, which I think lasted about three hours.  Sorry, I’m over this theme, let the kids sing music vaguely relevant to this century…

Break.  A much-needed one.

And we’re back for another insipid Ford Fiesta Mission.  Apparently, it’s Car Soccer.  Moving on…

…to the montage featuring last week’s Top Three (Kree, Amber, and *gulp* Lazaro), and more of the useless Jimmy Iovine.

They’re doing their Top Six pairs gimmick again this year…

  • Angie starts a pair at “the far side” of the stage…
  • Lazaro goes to center stage.
  • …and Kree goes to the “near side” of the stage.

The second person in each pair will be named later… of course…

BREAK!

We now have one degree of Kevin Bacon, as he’s in the audience to promote The Following before we get a return visit from the eleventh Idol, Scotty McCreery…

…and after the “catching up” montage, we get his latest single, “See You Tonight”.

BREAK!

Back for another set of montages… last week’s Bottom Three (Janelle, Amber, Candice) in no particular order…

  • Janelle goes first… and after her montage, she’s paired with Angie.
  • Candice is next… and she’s paired with Kree.
  • Amber gets her montage before being paired with Lazaro.

My guess (and I’m typing this during Amber’s montage)?  Amber and Lazaro are the Bottom Two.  But I’m probably wrong.

Seacrest confirms that one pair is the top two, one pair is the middle two, and one pair is the bottom two.  Which is which?

AFTER THE BREAK!!!!

Back… as Seacrest mentions He Who Shall Not Be Named (Brian Dunkleman) as we see footage of a very particular 2001 audition (and pre-audition interview)… and that auditioner’s incredible 11 years in music.  She’s back to debut “People Like Us” off her Greatest Hits album… yes, it’s the first Idol, Kelly Clarkson.  Whoever set up the ultraviolet light scheme should be shot and/or fired.   The post-song interview was too much judges, not enough Kelly.  Otherwise, it was a good segment (the song’s worth it, at least).

BREAK!!!

Everyone’s in their pairs… let’s go through the motions…

  • The Top Two are… Kree and Candice.  No surprise, they’re safe.
  • The Bottom Two are, indeed… Lazaro and Amber.
  • The Middle Two are, of course, Janelle and Angie, and they’re safe.
  • Who’s singing for the inevitable save?

We’ll see after the first-ever Idol Live commercial break (taken from FOX’s NASCAR coverage, the live shot from Television City goes to the upper-right of the screen while the commercials get the bulk of it).  Looks like the four safe girls get to go back stage and relax although the inset picture is so small it could be a shot of another network and I’d never know the difference…

  • We come “back” from break… two on stage, one ready to sing.
  • After 34 million votes, Amber is safe and Lazaro will be singing for the save.

This will be interesting.  They probably don’t want to save him – but they may have to.  His save song is “Feeling Good”.  But will he be feeling good after the announcement?

  • Randy speaks for the judges – “We love you, but we’re not gonna use the save”.
  • This poses a scheduling issue… there now more shows left than there are eliminations… so how are they going to concoct a no-elimination week?  Does this mean the return of VFTW’s favorite special episode, Idol Gives Head Back?
  • It also poses another issue… will America watch 5 girls compete for the title of the twelfth American Idol?  We’re going to find out soon enough…

See you Wednesday night.  I think.

*EDIT: Thanks to Barry for getting my ’80s bands straight.  I hate when I do that… 🙂

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Author: Rob Hoffmann

Occasional blogger, full-time computer techie, radio producer (basketball, mostly), generally nice person (if you ask me).

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