American Idol 12: Two Thumbs Down (Finals Round 4 Results)

Of course, the news of the day is the death of Roger Ebert.  Let’s face it, his reviews helped shape the movie industry.  My reviews here?  I’d have to have readers to shape anything, right? 

A little closer to me, a terrific New York sportswriter I read a lot when I was a teenage Islanders fan also died today – that’d be Newsday’s Stan Isaacs, who was a grumpy old writer long before he was old enough to get away with it.

And to bring the blog back to its intended topic, Idol is also going to sink our spirits with next week’s two themes (which would imply the save is not getting used tonight) – the songbook of Burt Bacharach and Hal David, and a “Free Choice” theme called “Songs You Wish You Wrote”.  Really?  Bacharach-David?  None of the singers will have a clue about any of those songs… it’ll be a bigger trainwreck than a Lazaro Arbos duet.  And the “Free Choice” round is almost certain to be “you have a free choice of the 8 songs we cleared this week”.  Until Idol starts to select music that’s relevant to the singers performing it (and the audience they claim to want), the ratings are going to continue to tank.

And yes, I’m inflicting this on myself live.  I’m an idiot.

THIS! … is American Idol!

They got 25 million votes last night.  They got 27 million votes last week.  They probably should be worried, although having Carrie Underwood on the show tonight will bring a ratings boost.

But first… will Lazaro be given any solo lyrics to forget, as the top 7 do Queen’s “Somebody To Love”?  Yes, and he actually remembered them… “Got no feel, I got no rhythm/I just keep losing my beat”.  Someone in Idol production has a warped sense of humor… I approve!

AFTER THE BREAK – we’ll tease more results!!!

And we’re back for the insipid Ford Fiesta Mission.  The Idols get to dress like their idols for some photographers.  OK.  Nothing is said about if, or where, the photos from this shoot will ever appear.

One person I wish would disappear is Jimmy Iovine.  But here he is, whining about song choice when he and his team pick the damn songs!!!   They sabotage the kids, then he has the nerve to come out and cut them off at the knees?  Really?

18 minutes in, no closer to a result, and I want to throw things at Iovine.  In other words, a typical Idol Thursday…

We go back three years to watch then-resident cougar Kara Dioguardi drooling over Casey James… who has since achieved some success in Nashville, and he’s back to promote his self-titled album.  It’s definitely “The Good Life” for Casey…

…who gets to hand out hometown gifts to the Idols… during the commercial break.  Yes, these producers are geniuses, aren’t they?

8:28pm.  No results yet.  Well, at least FOX is making a ton of money during the breaks, even if the audience is shrinking… I wonder how they’re pulling that off…

Back to find out who the judges think belong in the top three… to be honest, it’s not terribly relevant except for the fact that it will influence voters… Angie, Amber, and Kree swept the judges (except Mariah swapped Candice for Angie).  What I find interesting is they’re all quietly ranking Janelle fifth.  They’re underestimating the power of a blonde country girl (as we’ll be reminded shortly)…

…but first, they are announcing the top three…

  • Kree is safe (“in no particular order” – right).
  • Angie is safe.
  • Lazaro, stunningly, is safe.  VFTW pulls off the upset, and Burnell is doomed.

And speaking of blonde country girls… look who’s next…

We get the video montage from Carrie Underwood’s 2005 run to glory… before she comes to the stage (live, surprisingly) with her new single, “See You Again”, off Blown Away.  She talks a little to Ryan (gotta pretend to like the little people) before…

…another break.  It’s 8:46pm, so the last four will find out their fate soon… right?

And now, the anticlimax… who’s safe now?

  • Candice is safe.
  • Your Bottom Three are Janelle, Amber, and Burnell.
  • Amber is safe.
  • I’m truly surprised, although I wouldn’t put it past Idol to claim Janelle is in the bottom two to push more votes her way next week.

It comes down to this – Janelle might be saved.  Burnell won’t.  But, of course, we have to take another break.

  • And it’s official.  Burnell is singing for the save.  Janelle is safe.
  • He’ll sing “Ready For Love” by India.Arie.  And it won’t matter.

So, is the save in play?

  • “Unfortunately, Ryan, we’re not gonna use it.”  Burnell’s going home.
  • And then there were six…

Again, I will not be recapping the More Idol segments during FOX’s alleged comedies (OK, New Girl isn’t terrible).  See you Wednesday night for what should be a sprint through two solos for each Idol…


Author: Rob Hoffmann

Occasional blogger, slightly less occasional improv player/ref/tech, full-time computer techie, radio producer (basketball, mostly), generally nice person (if you ask me).

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