When I’m writing, I tend to forget that people read my blog. This has been my place to write for myself – which has gotten me into trouble in the past – but while I try to make it readable, it really is about me (hence the name of the blog).
So… you can imagine my reaction when I found that a friend and former Anthem co-worker had used my last post (“A Moment Of Clarity”) as inspiration to peer into his own darkness… and my shock when I read his post and found that he had come within a frighteningly short distance of suicide. I’ll warn you, this is painful reading… but if you want to see how close someone can veer toward the abyss and still pull back, read Barry’s blog.
I hadn’t planned to post for a while. I have been working on what was to be the next post – but it’s gotten so large (and unwieldy) that I’m probably going to add it as a page instead of a blog post, and I’ll let you know when it’s done. I believe that’s called a tease… 🙂
Otherwise… things are settling back down. I’ve pretty much got my equilibrium back, I think. I’ve decided to stop trying to control every step of where I’m going, and just take my own advice (that you’ll see as a comment on Barry’s post, if you go there)… I’m keeping my eyes and ears open… let’s see where things lead. I’ve still got a lot of work to do, but I have finally come to the conclusion that it’s bloody well time to get over myself. What that means, exactly, I’m not sure. Right now, it’s going to be trying to avoid the reflex to say “no” to anything outside my narrow comfort zone. Small steps are more doable, right?
Finally, I’m planning to blog American Idol again this season – it’s going to be a trainwreck season, with the egos of Mariah Carey, Nicki Minaj, and Keith Urban dueling for camera time… as always, I’ll start up when the audience vote actually matters, which should be sometime in early March if FOX sticks to their current plans.
Now, back to work on that epic page/post… catch you later.