American Idol 11: Semifinal Results

Don’t forget… the finale starts Tuesday night with the one-hour final performance show, and the overblown two-hour-and-eight-minute finale is Wednesday night (suggest you pad the time on your DVR if you are DVRing).

The final three have gone home.  They’ve had the parade, the radio interviews, the concert in front of their families and friends.  They’ve done the three-song run in the semifinal performance show.   The finale awaits… for two of them.  Who’s going (back) home?  The performance show didn’t really settle anything – so, as always, we’re in the hands of the most unpredictable group in America.  That’d be the tweens and housewives who’ve taken over Idol voting.  Let’s go see what they’ve wrought…

THIS! … Is American Idol!

The montage, of course, features the Idols going home, with Paul Simon’s “Homeward Bound” as the background music.

We’re going to start this season’s final Television City show big, as the judges and Seacrest enter through the audience…

It’s a trio performance of “Got To Get You Into My Life” by the Beatles.  Glad to see P2 dressed up (he’s wearing a white shirt and black windbreaker instead of his usual grey-on-grey)… everybody’s on risers (the singers, drummer, horn section, guitarist) which is why Seacrest and the judges couldn’t appear on-stage.

First break… let’s see how they torture the singers tonight with results that, remember, could take 45 seconds to give if they were so disposed…

We’re back for the Pointless Ford Video (without P2 again) – the defenseless victim is “Cinema” by Benny Benassi as remixed by Skrillex.  I think this is the last PFV of the season.  Or, I hope so.

Quick plug for the Soda Sponsor Songwriting Contest before Ryan starts with “results”…

  • Joshua goes first.
    • Time for a montage plus more blather from… yeah… you know who.
    • I think the montage was longer than his three songs combined (yes, this will be true for all three performers).
    • Of course, no actual results were harmed in the making of this segment.

Break…

The filler continues, with a segment riffing on J-Lo’s duties as the voice of Shira in the Ice Age movies (some of the other voice actors calling J-Lo’s dressing room looking for Shira), complete with with a studio visit segment that is at least two weeks old (Hollie shows up in it).  All of this is to promote the newest Ice Age movie, coming to a theater near you this summer.

Switching gears, it’s “You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet” by someone Seacrest called “a member of rock royalty”.  He’s right – it’s the King’s Princess, Lisa Marie Presley.  Too bad the song wasn’t all that…

Break…

Season 12 auditions start on June 7 – they’ve announced dates in Los Angeles, Newark, and Chicago.  However, in a triumphant bureaucratic foulup, all of the sites have actually been revealed on the application form (add San Antonio, Charlotte, New Orleans, and Oklahoma City to the list).

More “results”…

  • Jessica gets her moment…
    • Montage, Iovine…
      • …including Tyler’s prediction that Jessica will win it all.
    • “Go back to the stools”… yes, we have no results.

Break…

Songwriter Carole Bayer Sager and actress/singer (and Mrs. Tom Hanks) Rita Wilson stop by for a short tribute to the late Donna Summer, whose death from cancer was reported about 8 hours before showtime.

Your official Returning Idol is the one fondly/derisively known as “Glambert”.   It’s Adam Lambert with his new single “Never Close Our Eyes”, the first off his second album.  The song is pretty solid pop (and very different from his first album’s lead single “Whataya Want From Me”).

Break…

And we conclude the non-results “results” with…

  • Phillip’s turn to be a prop…
    • …by standing on stage pretending to care about the montage or Iovine…
    • …setting up for Seacrest calling all three singers up for the judges to talk at.
  • But, finally, it’s time for something vaguely resembling results…
    • …after the break.

Break…

After 55 minutes of filler and fluff, it’s finally time for the Final Two…

  • 90 million votes cast (by 8 teenagers in Bismarck)…
    • Jessica is going to the finale (and is in shock).  So my prediction has gone wrong.
    • Phillip is going to the finale. VFTW VICTORY!
    • Joshua is going home in third place.

Joshua sings the show out with “It’s A Man’s World” (which is guaranteed to be one of his Tour songs, no?), bringing his mom up on stage with him.

At least we will have a finale free of J-Lo’s blatant lust for Joshua (who seems utterly disinterested in returning that emotion – just sayin’)… so does the Pinoy Princess win it, or the bored Southern boy who acts like he’s above it all?  My money’s on the White Guy With Guitar.  If they couldn’t toss him under the bus with the song choices last night, he’s bulletproof.

See you Tuesday night right after the final performance show… and then Thursday morning to snark on whoever wins and what should be a massively-overblown finale (remember – it’s set for 2 hours 8 minutes, which is one minute more than last year, and it’s live so it may overrun even though the last two finales came in on time).

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Author: Rob Hoffmann

Occasional blogger, full-time computer techie, radio producer (basketball, mostly), generally nice person (if you ask me).

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