American Idol 11: Eighth Final Results

We’ve reached the point of the season where I start saying that being eliminated has one major benefit – your career may not wind up in the clueless clutches of 19 Entertainment and Interscope Records.  That can only be a good thing.  So when Skylar eventually goes home in the next few weeks, it’ll free her to go right to Nashville after the summer Idol tour is over, and not have to have Jimmy Iovine get his grubby mitts all over her first album.

Speaking of the Idol tour, guess what was announced yesterday?  They’re not coming to Richmond this year, so… yeah.  They’ll be in DC in August, I think.

Let’s get to it – which of the girls will be picked off tonight?

The opening montage was a combination tribute to Freddie Mercury and review of last night’s show… because…

THIS! … is American Idol!

…and yes, tonight, “another one bites the dust”.  That is really how the opening montage ended.  Obvious one-liner is obvious.

The judges, and Seacrest, enter from the audience again tonight… so does that mean Queen is back onstage?

There were 58 million votes (up 10 million from the round of 6 last year)… someone’s making a ton of money from this.

Oh… it’s not Queen performing.  It’s the Queen-picked tribute band The Queen Extravaganza, doing “Somebody To Love”.  This must be part of the reason Queen agreed to this week…

And we go to break…

…before this week’s Pointless Ford Video.  The final six abuse “Magic” (B.O.B. feat. Rivers Cuomo).

Speaking of pointless, here’s the annual video of the Idols visiting TMZ.  Or, in other words, “let’s embarrass the kids”.  The less I see of Harvey Levin, the better, so… FAST FORWARD!

Time to get what we’re here for…

  • Jessica and Elise start off the results…
    • …but first, more from the living symbol of everything that’s wrong with the music industry.
    • Of course, we get a shot of Jessica’s dad in the audience before he ships off to face danger in… Singapore?  OK, we learned last night that he has already done Iraq and Afghanistan, so he deserves a quieter assignment…
    • One is safe, one is in the Bottom Three (of course)…
    • Jessica is safe.
    • Elise is in the Bottom Three.

Break so they can set the stage for the Idol Alum of the Week…

But first, the official announcement of the Tour (45 cities this summer), and a quick interview with Casey Abrams to promote the tour.

We move to the Idol Alum performance, a singer who had a surnamectomy since last year’s Idol tour, Stefano.  It’s his new single “I’m On A Roll”, featuring New Boyz and Rock Mafia.  Catchy tune.  It might sell a few digital downloads… (that was a better cliché when it was “that might sell a few records”, don’t you think?)

Break before we go back to torturing the Idols…

  • Hollie and Joshua are waiting at center stage as we come back…
    • …#telljimmy #bah
    • Hollie looks absolutely terrified… as I said above, if she gets bounced now, it’s a good thing for her career.  Anyway, here we go…
    • One is safe, one is Bottom Three (didn’t we know that?)…
    • Hollie is in the Bottom Three.
    • Joshua is safe.

Break before another performance, and further proof that America hates women as Skylar will be sent to the Bottom Three and Phillip will be rewarded for two insipid performances by being sent to safety… just watch…

Right back for Katy Perry’s latest single “Part Of Me”, live (on tape) on stage… the irony is that had Katy ever been part of Idol, she’d have been voted off in fourth or fifth place while some dull-as-dishwater white-guy-with-guitar won the season.  Not that I’m saying that Idol voting is screwed up or anything… anyway, I’m just going to sit back and enjoy Katy telling Russell Brand to go to hell in a song…

And… break…

The final results pairing…

  • Skylar and Phillip are onstage…
    • …which means Iovine is offstage… bleh…
    • How did I not notice Randy’s “YO” lapel pin last night?  Dumb.
    • Skylar is in the Bottom Three.
    • Phillip is safe.
    • My television ducked the remote control.
    • But… Skylar is safe, as she gets the quick send-back-to-the-couches.
    • Elise and Hollie are the Bottom Two.

Break before one of the girls goes home (and is saved from the Idol Machine)…

  • All six singers are on-stage, but Ryan wants the Bottom Two to have their moment, so the four safe singers are sent back to the couches…
    • Elise is going home.
    • Hollie is safe.

Hollie’s done next week – she’s run out of time, I suspect.  She’s had four Bottom Three appearances in 8 weeks.  The other four remaining Idols have five Bottom Three appearances among them.  That said, if Hollie does the same math, she has time to reinvent herself a bit and try to shake things up… but the reality is that Idol voters are Idol voters and Hollie’s a girl, so…

Anyway… Elise sings us (and herself) off with “Whole Lotta Love”, as Ryan finally shows the strain of being ill this week by botching the name of Idol’s lead-out (it’s Touch, not Touched).

Somehow, they have to fill two hours with five singers on Wednesday night.  This will be excruciating interesting.  See you Thursday morning for the recap.

Advertisements

Author: Rob Hoffmann

Occasional blogger, full-time computer techie, radio producer (basketball, mostly), generally nice person (if you ask me).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s