American Idol 11: Seventh Final Results

So… at least we know someone will be going home tonight.  There’s no save, so there won’t be any cheap high-school talent-show theatrics at the end of the show as the judges pretend they didn’t know they were using their save.

We also know that a tribute to Dick Clark will air during the show.  Let’s hope they let Seacrest produce the segment, because otherwise…

…let’s not go down that road.  Time to see which of the girls will be picked off this week, because the audience hates women, and because…

THIS! … is American Idol!

AWOLNATION’s “Sail” seems an odd theme for the opening montage, especially since Idol avoids modern rock like a plague… but that’s what they used.  Of course, the montage focused on the fact that the save is gone and someone is leaving.  Big surprise there.

For the first time I can recall this year, Seacrest pimps the vote count (53 million), saying it was the highest of the season.

It’s the Awkward Group Possibly-But-Not-Always Lip-Synched Opening Number, Martha & the Vandellas’ “Dancing In The Streets”.   Given the audio mixing problems, I’d say there’s a good chance this isn’t lip-synched this week… too bad all those balloons had to give their lives for an Idol opener…

Break…

Back for the Pointless Ford Music Video, an unprovoked attack on Switchfoot’s “Stars”.

Time for results…

  • Joshua and Hollie start us off this week…
    • #telljimmy #toshutup
    • Joshua gets a Seacrest Swerve™ before being told he’s safe.
    • Hollie, to absolutely nobody’s surprise, is in the Bottom Three.

Break…

Wow, we have a Taylor Hicks sighting – the lost Idol  comes home to plug his Vegas show… and to do a terrible intro for Kris Allen.   This leads into Allen’s new single, “The Vision of Love”.

Break…

More results…

  • Skylar and Elise face the music (as it were)…
    • #telljimmy #wearesickofhim
    • You can tell Elise thinks she’s done… and she is in the Bottom Three again.  It’s her fifth visit in seven weeks.
    • In a shocking result, Skylar gets to go back to the couches, as she’s safe.

Break…

Now is the moment where we reflect on the life and career of Dick Clark.  Seacrest called Dick Clark his “mentor”.  Let’s face it, Seacrest wants to be Dick Clark when he grows up.  Not sure it’s going to happen.  There was one Dick Clark.  He’ll never be duplicated, and is missed.

Seacrest then throws to a band he says would’ve been a great fit on American Bandstand (he’s probably right this time)… it’s LMFAO with “Sorry for Party Rocking”.  I’m just guessing here, but I don’t really think they’re sorry… and what’s with the dancing zebra?

Break…

We complete the Bottom Three, as…

  • …Jessica, Colton, and Phillip come to center stage
    • #telljimmy #ohnevermind
    • Jessica, after the save last week, and a Seacrest Swerve™, is safe.
    • Colton is in the Bottom Three.
    • Phillip is safe.
    • And I called the Bottom Three, not that it was such a major surprise.  This was like calling the sun rising tomorrow morning…
    • But before someone goes home, Elise gets the quick trip back to the couches after another Seacrest Swerve™… she’s safe.
    • The Bottom Two are Hollie and Colton… time for…

One more break…

  • Dim the lights, someone’s going home…
    • The person going home is Colton… wait, what?  One of the guys is going home?
    • Hollie is safe.

There are four girls in the top six.   While ordinarily I’d say that this almost guarantees a guy is going to win, I expect Joshua to leave in the next couple of weeks, and Phillip isn’t that strong of a performer.  There is a small chance that someone other than the WGWG is going to win, despite VFTW’s best efforts.

Colton sings us off with Lifehouse’s “Everything” (as he tries to pander to the fundies on the way out)… see you Thursday morning for the Round of Six recap.

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Author: Rob Hoffmann

Occasional blogger, full-time computer techie, radio producer (basketball, mostly), generally nice person (if you ask me).

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