American Idol 11: Fifth Final Results

Let’s face it.  It’s become obvious that there are no stars in this year’s Idol lineup.  There’s a lot of mid-level talent, but we’re not going to see anyone break out the way Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood did.  That’s compounded by the fact that the voting audience not only hates women (as I remind you every week), but that they hate innovation.  They certainly punish singers who don’t do a safe, sappy ballad.  This is where I’d normally do a rant about how Idol has to revamp the voting system – but you’ve heard it before, and frankly, given how fast Idol’s ratings have sunk, they probably realize they need to do something as well.  We’ll see what they do if there is a season 12.

For now, though, there’s a good chance of the Judges’ Save being invoked tonight… so let’s get on with the show… on the 25th anniversary of the FOX network (oh, THAT’s why this is ‘80s Week!!)…

THIS! … is American Idol!

Standard opening montage to Tears For Fears’ “Shout”.

We start with the Idols on the couches (so apparently, no Awkward Lip-Sync Number tonight)… Joshua reports that he’s under the weather – he’s a bit light-headed and might pass out (which would be the most exciting part of this week of Idol).

Despite the utter failure of Q’Viva, Seacrest still plugs the ill-fated live show in May in Vegas before throwing to an extended clip from J-Lo’s new video (“Dance Again” featuring Pitbull).  Ryan manages to create an uncomfortable moment by asking if there was any “special chemistry” between J-Lo and any of the dancers – always something appropriate to ask of a person going through a public divorce.  Sheesh.

Break… including an X-Factor audition plug…

Time for the Pointless Ford Music Video, as the Idols kick “Alright” by Supergrass hard in the…

…and we’re ready for results.  But first, a Twitter video from an American teacher in a Vietnamese primary school wishing Joshua good luck…

Results are being done by last night’s duets…

  • We start with Jessica and the ailing Joshua…
    • …including more verbal flatulence from Iovine, and the montage (including our first #gottahaveit of the night)…
    • Joshua #gottahaveit… UGH!… I mean…
    • Joshua is safe.
    • Jessica is safe.
    • Both got the Patented Seacrest Half-Hearted Swerve.  By now, that’s getting VERY old…

Break…

British popsters The Wanted try to break into the US market with “Glad You Came”, live on the Idol stage…

Break…

Back to results, with 6 singers and three Bottom Three seats open…

  • Skylar and Colton are next…
    • More from Iovine… fast-forward?
    • But wait… there’s more…
  • Hollie and DeAndre are called to the stage…
    • …so we can have yet another montage and more blather…
    • DeAndre is in the Bottom Three.  No surprise, even with VFTW support.
    • Colton is safe.
    • Hollie is in the Bottom Three.
    • Skylar is safe.
    • So I’ve gotten two of the Bottom Three right.  Given that Elise and Phillip remain, I’d say I got all three… was it really this obvious?

Break…

One of the most-successful Idol non-winners is back on the Television City stage, Kellie Pickler does “Where’s Tammy Wynette?”  Skylar should be watching – Kellie’s career arc could well be hers over the next few years… so, of course, Kellie’s interview with Ryan pulls Skylar in…

Break…

The final (and blatantly obvious) results pairing… is now…

  • Elise and Phillip get the call…
    • yeah, again…
    • This interview isn’t going to help Philiip, as he comes off as a bit of a prick… then again, he is the Anointed WGWG, so how much can go wrong?
    • Elise is in the Bottom Three (oh, really???)
    • Phillip is safe.
    • Hollie, DeAndre, and Elise are in the Bottom Three.
    • But not for long… surprisingly, Hollie is safe.
    • DeAndre or Elise sing for their lives…

…after the break…

Bottom Two time… but first, they waste time on the judges saying America “got it wrong”.

  • Elise is safe.
  • DeAndre will sing for the Save.

DeAndre Brackensick – “Master Blaster” by Stevie Wonder (1980)
Going back to the reggae vibe to try to save himself… and staying with the ‘80s Week as well… nice job, sounded good, but I don’t think he saved himself…

  • The last wild-card is on the chopping block… does he go home?
  • Jennifer has to make the announcement (hard for her because she’s been DeAndre’s biggest fan)… but no, DeAndre is going home.  J-Lo says she wanted to save DeAndre and was outvoted by Steven and Randy.
  • I’m surprised, I thought DeAndre was safe because he’s a guy… all three wild cards are now gone, and VFTW hasn’t really done well in saving their picks (I think they got one week out of Shannon, one week out of Heejun, and DeAndre were gone immediately).

They’re back at it on Wednesday night.  I’ll see you Thursday morning.

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Author: Rob Hoffmann

Occasional blogger, full-time computer techie, radio producer (basketball, mostly), improv tech guy, generally nice person (if you ask me).

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