American Idol 11: Second Final Results

Before we get started – in case you haven’t heard, those of us who think Idol shows are bloated already are in for more irritation.  FOX, the network that can’t create a successful sitcom that doesn’t star Zooey Deschanel, has cancelled delayed the loathsome “I Hate My Teenage Daughter”, meaning the April Idol shows that were going to be 90-minutes have just been expanded to two hours.  How they’re going to fill two hours of performance shows with a shrinking number of this crop of singers is anyone’s guess…

So after the SHOCKINGSWERVE of Jermaine Jones’ disqualification, the remaining 11 finalists gather to find out if they are next on the chopping block – or if Idol is going to pull something out of its… um… hat to preserve the schedule they were on.  After all, the much-hated judges’ save hasn’t come back yet – although last week’s results were characterized as a save…  anyway, here we go…

THIS! … is American Idol!

Opening montage time… a few baby pictures… dumping on Heejun’s terrible performance last night… and cue the opening titles…

Ryan makes it clear that there will be an elimination tonight, meaning we’ll have the tour lineup shortly.  We’ll see… after all, this wouldn’t be the first time Idol flat-out lied to us…

After a quick bit of fluff about J-Lo’s latest Vogue cover, a real announcement.  Tommy Hilfiger has latched onto Idol – he’s now the “image advisor” for the Idol contestants.  I guess his empire isn’t quite as stable as we thought, if he has to grab onto a fading karaoke show in order to re-establish his relevance…

And we go off to the break…

And the save is officially back – one save between now and the Top Five.  Hmmm…

Time for the Pointless Ford Music Video… where the Idols once again confirm that they weren’t selected for their acting skills, as they mangle Shiny Toy Guns’ “Ghost Town”.

Dim the lights…

  • Phillip, Skylar, Elise, and Joshua are called to center stage…
    • Montage… Iovine blathering… yeah, yeah…
    • Percy Sledge apparently emailed in to say how much he loved Joshua’s work on his signature song, so…
    • Joshua is going on tour.
    • Phillip is going on tour.
    • Elise is in the Bottom Three, so…
    • Skylar is going on tour.

Break… an artist who’s in the same age range as many of the Idols, and who’s been both far more successful and far more troubled, is next…

Time to hear from Demi Lovato, with “Give Your Heart A Break”.  Is it the lighting, or did they let the “Jersey Shore” cast touch up Demi’s spray tan???  At least this is live (the camera shots of the Idols on the couch confirms this).   In this case, it was probably good that they’ve eliminated the post-song interview… in those heels, Demi would have been looking ribcage-to-face at Ryan…

Break…

Back for more results…

  • Colton, Shannon, Deandre, and Jessica get the call…
    • Which means we get more of The Mouse That Roared…
    • Colton is going on tour.  By now, his sister is probably ready to kill him…
    • Jessica is going on tour after Ryan reads the cards out of order and feints Deandre.
    • Deandre is going on tour, so…
    • Despite VFTW’s best efforts, Shannon is in the Bottom Three.

So as we go to break, two of the girls are in the Bottom Three.  As I’ve said for years, the Idol voting audience hates the girls with a passion unmatched anywhere… one of these years, the girls will realize that they have to be miles better than the guys just to have an even chance… or maybe the producers will learn, and cast stronger female singers… nah, who am I kidding, Idol has become the WGWG Coronation Service…

We’re back for an alum who keeps coming back to promote new projects, it’s Daughtry with “Out Of My Head”.

Wow… Ryan is actually talking to Chris Daughtry.  There goes the idea that they’re not doing interviews… I guess they’re just not doing most interviews… then again, I’m expecting consistency from Idol.  I should know better.

Off to break…

  • The last three: Erika, Heejun, and Hollie face the music…
    • Blah Blah Blah
    • Hollie is going on tour.
    • Erika is in the Bottom Three.
    • If you want proof that the Idol voters hate women, Heejun is going on tour.  He was, by far, the most awful last night and he’s safe.  Idol needs to fix this.  Fast.  You can’t let bored housewives and text-crazed tweens kill off the good singers and keep the “cute boy” jokes year after year.  Eventually, it’s going to catch up with them… and tonight, it just might have.

So your bottom three have a combined six “X” chromosomes… Elise, Shannon, or Erika will miss the tour… but it won’t be…

  • Elise, as she’s going on tour.
  • Shannon and Erika are the Bottom Two.  Who’s missing the tour, and possibly (unless the judges don’t use the save) going home?  That’s after another…

Break…

Final judgement…

  • Erika is going on tour.
  • Shannon has to sing for her life.

Shannon Magrane – “One Sweet Day”
Does it make sense to go back and sing the same song that got you into this mess in the first place?  Don’t the producers usually have the singers prepare a “sing for your life” song?  Or have the producers decided to throw Shannon under the bus?  This was basically the same performance as last night.  I expect the same results.

  • Randy makes it official.  Shannon Magrane is going home – and won’t make the tour.

Time for the send-off montage.

The reality was that Shannon wasn’t going to make it too much further – but still, for her to go home while a travesty like HeyJude is staying… if FOX really wants to continue to portray this as a singing competition, bizarre voting isn’t helping.

Ah well… the save is lurking.  Maybe they’ll use it next week.  See you then.

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Author: Rob Hoffmann

Occasional blogger, full-time computer techie, radio producer (basketball, mostly), generally nice person (if you ask me).

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