American Idol 11: First Final Results

After a show that provided a wide variety of singing talent, it’s time for the first cut of the American Idol finals series… they’re going to spend an hour slowly cutting down to one male and one female singer, then have them sing for their lives… so as we prepare to spend far too much time on a simple task… once again…

THIS! … is American Idol!

The good news, such as it is, comes in the opening montage, as Ryan voices over “For one night only, the judges decide” (italics are mine).  I didn’t like the system X-Factor used and I’m glad to see that it won’t become a regular part of the Idol season.

But first… another Idol tradition is back.  It’s the Awkward Group (possibly lip-synched) Opening Number!!!  And you can forget the “possibly”, as we quickly see that Deandre has no clue about proper lip-synching technique while doing “As” by Stevie Wonder.

Let’s put this behind us with our first… break.

And our second sad Idol tradition has charged back with a vengeance – it’s the Pointless Ford Music Video, as the idols do awful things to Peter Gabriel’s “Big Time”, and I begin my annual reconsideration of being a Ford owner.

We’re off to set our dueling Bottom Threes (yes, there’ll be a bottom three for each gender), but first the corrupt Jimmy Iovine has to get some face time… dim the lights, here we go…

  • Jessica, Elise, and Hollie are summoned to center stage:
    • Insert obligatory montage, and more comments from the annoying Iovine.
    • Jessica is safe.  The most unsurprising result of the night is out of the way.
    • Elise is in the Bottom Three.  Also no surprise.
    • Hollie is safe.
  • Heejun, Jermaine, and Colton get the call next.
    • Montage.  Iovine.  Bleah.
    • Colton is safe after the Patented Seacrest Swerve.
    • Heejun is safe (and I’m not sure why).
    • Jermaine is in the Bottom Three.  I guess that’s not really surprising.

It’s the first Returning Alumna after the break, as Lauren Alaina tries to pump up flagging record sales…

We start with a plug for J-Lo’s burn-off… um… show on FOX Saturdays, Q’Viva… which is proud of 30 million viewers in 21 countries.  I think that maybe 2 million of those are on FOX, which is why they spent far too much time talking about it…

OK, now Lauren can sing.  She’s doing her second single, “Georgia Peaches”… and it looks like she’s dropped a little weight since last year’s finale.  Good for her.  Surprised that they didn’t take a second to talk to Lauren after the performance, but hey, the sponsors don’t pay until we go to…

Break.

And now, back to the business of creating the Bottom Three-times-Two…

  • Erika, Shannon, and Skylar (in other words, the last 3 girls) get the call…
    • Montage.  Iovine.  Claw my eyes out (OK, not literally).
    • Erika is in the Bottom Three.  Not really a surprise.
    • Skylar is safe.  Yay, America got it right.
    • Shannon is in the Bottom Three.  After she got beat up by the judges, this isn’t a surprise.  Is VFTW losing their power, or is FOX screwing with the Worsters?
  • The last 4 guys (Joshua, Deandre, Phillip, and Jeremy) complete the first pass…
    • Longer montage.  More Iovine.  Glad I don’t own a gun, as I’d shoot the TV.
    • WGWG… I mean… Phillip is safe.  The second-least surprising note.
    • Jeremy is in the Bottom Three.  No surprise.
    • Deandre is safe.  OK, I’ll buy it.
    • Joshua is in the Bottom Three.

And as we throw to break, Ryan sneaks in a quick announcement disguised as the outro:

  • He says come back to see who’s safe, like “Joshua and Erika”.  It took more than a second for both to realize they need to haul it back over to the Couches of Safety…
    • Your Bottom Four: Jeremy, Jermaine, Shannon, and Elise

Now, we go off to break… with an actual singing star coming up afterwards…

Back with Mary J. Blige, singing “Why”.  Again, no Seacrest interview after the song… I’m wondering if the producers finally figured out that the presence or lack of a Seacrest Segment was a tipoff to whether the song was a pre-tape, and scratched the Seacrest Segment to preserve the illusion of a fully “live” show.

OK, I’m done laughing – they’re not that bright.

Off to break, so that we can come back and continue the slow torture of the Bottom Two-times-Two…

We have more chatter, as Ryan puts Steven on the spot, and Steven says he’d send Jeremy home…

  • Jermaine is safe after Ryan plays with the massive height difference between them.
  • Jeremy is The Last Guy.
  • Shannon is safe.  Minor VFTW Victory!
  • Elise is The Last Girl.

Off to break… and there won’t be a Sing For Your Life segment!?!  The judges are simply going to “discuss” this… meaning the producers are going to tell them to send Jeremy home so we have 6 guys and 6 girls, restoring Balance to the Idol Force…

With the usual reluctance, Jennifer announced the judges’ decision:

  • Elise is safe.
  • Jeremy Rosado is the first singer eliminated from the AI11 Finals Series.
  • Scotty McCreery sings the AI11 Go-Home Song, “Please Remember Me” to a montage of literally every moment Jeremy spent on stage…

The first elimination is one of the Wild Cards… Erika and Deandre probably need to worry a bit.  Then again, I wasn’t thrilled with Jeremy being added anyway… so I’m not surprised to see him go.  No, I didn’t quite call it, of course.  I never get the Week One elimination right…

See you Thursday morning for the recap of Finals week two…

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Author: Rob Hoffmann

Occasional blogger, full-time computer techie, radio producer (basketball, mostly), generally nice person (if you ask me).

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