X-Factor USA: Round of 5 Results

It was a longer night than I expected, so here we go…

It’s Time.  To Face.  The Music.

Cold open tonight as we dive right into the theme music… and to the Charisma Vacuum from his perch off-stage, meaning we go right into… Guest Star #1?

Indeed… the show opens with Lenny Kravitz live on stage, doing “Rock Star City Life” before diving into “Are You Gonna Go My Way”.

And as the Charisma Vacuum quickly dismisses Kravitz and introduces the judges, they’re queuing up the onstage/backstage montage… and here it is.   If you saw the show last night, you saw most of it, and the backstage stuff is completely unsurprising.  In other words, same as every other results-night montage… except it’s overlong.  Really, why do we need this much recap… oh, right, it’s a 60-minute show with 90 seconds that matter… we need the blasted filler.  C’mon, FOX… 30-minute recaps shows next year, PLEASE…

And, as if we haven’t heard enough from the judges, we hear more from the judges. For the most part, they gushed over Chris Rene… which means that… um… this can’t be good, right?

Finally, the first break…

Maybe we’ll see the contestants live on stage at some point… CV is in the “live-announcement” perch, so let’s see… no, it’s another pointless backstage montage.  This time, it’s about “what it takes to put the show on the air”.  great.  But it leads to the five contestants, their mentors… and the first results…

  • Josh Krajcik is in the Final Four.
  • Chris Rene is in the Final Four.  I’m kind of surprised.
  • At least one of the girls goes to the Final Showdown.

Break… and they cut CV off as he tried to say “don’t go away”.  Ironic, don’t you think?

Out of the mouths of babes… when CV asked her “Are you confident?”, Rachel Crow said “no”.  And am I being cynical, or does Melanie seem to be struggling to maintain the Caribbean accent?  Nah, it has to be just me, right?

But first… live, on stage, it’s Mary J. Blige with “Need Someone”.

And after a quick plug for Mary J.’s album, a quick tease for the results and…

A break…

Back to speak to the two confirmed semifinalists.  They say pretty much what you would expect them to say.  But it did soak up a few minutes of time, so I guess it’s a good thing.  And now, more results… but first, more recrap… um… recap from CV…

  • The third member of the Final Four is Melanie Amaro.
  • Rachel Crow and Marcus Canty are going to the Final Showdown.


Marcus Canty – “I’m Goin’ Down”, Mary J. Blige
Rachel Crow – “I’d Rather Go Blind”, Beyoncé (via Etta James)

I think even Marcus knows it’s over.  Rachel just loaded up the big guns and blew him away.  Let’s get to the inevitable, shall we?

After the break…

We start with the mentors of the two singers…

  • L.A. votes to send Rachel Crow home.  No surprise.
  • Simon votes to send Marcus Canty home.

And let’s break the tie with the two uninvolved judges…

  • Paula votes to send Marcus Canty home.
  • Nicole throws it to America’s vote, and votes to send Rachel Crow home.

Oh, my… Nicole can’t decide, so the whole judges’ vote becomes a charade.  Nicely done.

  • America votes to send Rachel Crow home.
  • Marcus Canty is the fourth member of the Final Four.

So between Paula and Nicole, they wiped out Drew and Rachel in the last two weeks.  Catty much, ladies?  The reality is that neither Marcus nor Chris are going to make a ripple after this show, while Rachel is absolutely heading for Disney (if they’re smart, they do a deal tomorrow) and Drew’s got a good chance at a tween-pop career if she’s put in the right hands.  But hey, it was more important for two of the judges to stick it to a third, so who cares about the best singers, right?

Clearly, if this show is to survive past its second (already-contracted) season, there have to be systemic changes.  The judges have to be told, forcefully, that the show is not about them.  And perhaps the Final Showdown can be eliminated, since it clearly means nothing at all to the judges’ votes, and the judges can rank the performers before the results show and have their “send-home” vote given to the lowest-ranked performer in the Final Two.

Ah, who am I kidding?  The show won’t change a thing because FOX is smarter than us (just ask them).

I’ll be recapping the semi-finals next week, but won’t be around for the finals in two weeks (Christmas time, you know), so I’ll probably write up some final thoughts after Christmas.

See you next week.


Author: Rob Hoffmann

Occasional blogger, slightly less occasional improv player/ref/tech, full-time computer techie, radio producer (basketball, mostly), generally nice person (if you ask me).

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