After an uninspiring night of alleged “rock” music, where you got to watch a lot of scared performers who were simply trying to do enough to avoid losing… the reality version of football’s Prevent Defense… we are gathered (through the magic of DVR) for what seems like an inevitable result – Lakoda Rayne and one solo performer singing for their X-Factor future after 45 minutes of fluff and filler. So… let’s begin the fluff and filler.
It’s Time. To Face. The Music.
We open with the Final 10 not lip-synching “We Will Rock You’”, as proven by LeRoy Bell flubbing his one solo line… sadly, the Charisma Vacuum isn’t lip-synching, either… he’s talking… and I’m not listening.
When CV stopped prattling, we got the usual onstage/backstage montage.
Well, now, here’s a change… he’s announcing the first two safe acts now?
- LeRoy Bell, inexplicably, is safe.
- Lakoda Rayne, surprisingly, is safe.
OK, this blog doesn’t get a lot of hits, so who at X-Factor is reading it? I mean, to take my “bottom two” and making them the first two safe acts is downright cynical – and, of course, I’m sure I’m not the only person who figured the results were inevitable, so I guess the producers felt it was worth changing the format to kick back at reviewers who savaged last night’s snoozefest.
Break, as we try to figure out who the producers will claim were the Bottom Two. Please keep in mind that the producers do not feel the obligation to actually put the bottom two votegetters in the Bottom Two… so take all of this with a grain (or a shaker) of salt…
Back with the first of several reminders that next week is on a Tuesday/Wednesday schedule so the results didn’t have to play against Thanksgiving night football…
…moving on, it’s inspiring footage of a photo shoot. This is always fascinating </sarcasm>. It’s a long-form commercial for a Sony camera. Fast-forwarding…
Up next, it’s Rihanna doing her most recent #1 hit, “We Found Love”, in a performance that sounds like the audio engineer forgot to put her microphone on the sound board. I think it was an attempt to make it sound like a concert performance. I don’t think it worked.
After the break… we’re promised more results… eventually, we will get them… right? And has anyone else noticed that every week, we get a drop saying “You’re watching The X-Factor On Demand” during the live shows? I’m not watching “On Demand”. I’m watching on FOX, you numbskulls!
We get the introduction of the 8 remaining acts, so the Charisma Vacuum can sweep up six of them… s-l-o-w-l-y… and send them to safety:
- Chris Rene is safe.
- Melanie Amaro is safe. I wonder if that’s what Simon was telling her before CV announced it.
- Josh Krajcik is safe.
- Marcus Canty is safe.
- The commercial break is now. The last two survivors, and the Final Showdown, are…
…after the break.
- Drew is safe.
- For the first time, they have CV read off last night’s judges critiques (yes, another Idol staple) to fill more time before we get to the Final Showdown…
- Rachel Crow is safe.
- Off to the Final Showdown are Astro and Stacy Francis. The one-trick rapper and the Scientologist with the extensive background (most of which she has hidden) face off for the chance to spend Thanksgiving Week rehearsing.
The Final Showdown is next…
Stacy Francis – “Amazing Grace”
Astro – a rap loosely based on “Never Can Say Goodbye”, Jackson 5
Astro comes out saying he feels like he shouldn’t perform, makes a show of asking L.A. if he should, and then performs anyway – with a pandering rap sucking up to the judges and producers. The reality is that he didn’t need to perform. Stacy’s performance was so dull and predictable that Astro could have said nothing and been better. The judges vote…
…after the break. Obviously, this will come down to the two uninvolved mentors, as L.A. and Nicole will send the other mentor’s performer home…
Here we go… someone will lose the vote… and someone will go home…
- L.A. Reid calls Astro out as a quitter… and then votes to send Stacy Francis home.
- Nicole votes to send Astro home, after a meandering speech.
- Paula votes to send Stacy Francis home.
- Simon will either bench Stacy, or invoke America’s tiebreaker. Simon doesn’t like Astro’s petulant attitude right now, either. In response, Astro acts more petulant. He is 15, after all. So after the theatrics, Simon votes to send Stacy Francis home.
- Astro survives for now (although he probably turned the X-Factor voters against him with his classless stunt tonight).
- And the clam is baked… Stacy Francis goes home.
As the shows are Tuesday and Wednesday for the holiday week, I’ll see you Wednesday and Thursday for the Morning After recaps.