Live on DVR from Hollywood… it’s time to face the music…
So. How will X-Factor eliminate its victims? We don’t know if there’ll be a Bottom Two, Three, Six, or whatever… but we do know we’ll start with the opening montage with dramatic voiceover, just like Idol…
We open with the charisma vacuum that is Steve Jones, who apparently is going to start every show with that crossed-arms “X” signal, one or two quick sentences to set the scene, and the judges’ introduction. Rough gig.
Ah, the rules… there’ll be a Bottom Two. And they’ll have to sing for their lives, with the judges sending one of those two groups home. Thus, we’re somewhat protected from the public’s deranged voting. Maybe.
It also looks like we’re going to get the overproduced group song to start the show, just like Idol. And as long as Astro is here, it’ll include a short rap segment, since it’s becoming clear that we’ll never see him actually… you know… sing.
Cue the official backstage/onstage montage, with “exclusive” footage you probably could have figured out already… This one is going on for a long time, which tells me that they don’t have a lot of other material to pad the hour. So, it’s time to bring back my favorite Idol complaint. Cut the results show to 30 minutes!
Back from break for an extended Pepsi commercial – to show the contestants reacting to the idea of being in the Pepsi commercial they’ll win along with the $5 million contract. Ummmmmmm… yeah.
Current Pepsi commercial star OutaSight does “Tonight Is The Night”. Who? Oh, OK, I’ve heard the song before, but I had no idea the singer was a really pale rapper/singer from Yonkers. This guy needs a tanning bed… but the song’s good.
We’re heading to our second break without any results announced. Yeah, X-Factor is very Idolesque in its ways…
Back with another montage, this time, it’s the contestants explaining why they don’t want to go home. Well… duh?
Finally, results… as they bring all 12 acts and their mentors onstage. The resulting mass of humanity looks like one of the protests going on around the country (only better-dressed). #occupyxfactor?
Results are in no particular order, and Jones says he’s going to run through all of the Top Ten…
- Marcus Canty is safe.
- Drew is safe.
- The commercial break is safe. Wait, what?
And we’re back with more of the Top Ten…
- LeRoy Bell is safe.
- Astro is safe. That’s two for L.A. Reid.
- Lakoda Rayne are safe. The first group goes through.
- Rachel Crow is safe. Two for Simon.
- Chris Rene is safe. L.A. Reid’s work is done for this week.
- Josh Krajcik is safe. Nicole has two.
- Melanie Amaro is safe. Simon’s team survives.
We’re down to three (not necessarily the Bottom Three, though).
- Stacy Francis is safe. Nicole’s team made it.
- It’s a group sing-off for the 11th spot. InTENsity and Stereo Hogzz are signing for the judges… after the break, it’s the first Final Showdown.
No surprise here, really. Paula said it on-stage, the Idol/X-Factor voting audience isn’t used to voting for groups, and is unlikely to do so unless they blow away the competition. I had InTENsity in my At Risk pool Wednesday night, and Stereo Hogzz went first, which is always a drag on votes. This does kind of defeat the purpose of the Final Showdown, though, as the idea was to save the groups – er – keep America from ignoring talent.
We’re back with the Final Showdown…
Stereo Hogzz – “Emotions”, Destiny’s Child
InTENsity – “My Life Would Suck Without You”, Kelly Clarkson
Based on this performance, I’d send InTENsity home. It’s not their fault, as they’ve been together for just a couple of months, but they just don’t come off as a serious group – they really do sound like the Disney theme-park versions of the songs they sing. That said, as soon as they’re free from their X-Factor obligations, Disney should grab these kids and play the hell out of them on Radio Disney.
And it’s another commercial break…
Time for the judges to weigh in. If the judges can’t decide, the act with the least votes from America goes home.
- Simon votes to send the Stereo Hogzz home.
- Paula votes to send InTENsity home.
- Nicole votes to send InTENsity home.
- L.A. votes to send InTENsity home. Stereo Hogzz are safe. InTENsity goes home.
What’s amazing is that despite having an hour for this show, Steve Jones still has to rush the judges to make their decisions as we’re up against the end of the show. Another way in which this show is just like Idol… they have no idea how to pace a show so that the most important part actually has time to breathe. I know they’re terrified of having extra time at the end of the show to fill, but with so many contestants around, they can toss in an interview or another montage… but really, to have Jones snapping at the judges doesn’t do the show any favors.
The Round of 11 is Wednesday and Thursday. The blogs will be up Thursday and Friday mornings. See you then.