OK… the results will take about 3 minutes to cover. Fortunately, Fox has found a whole lot of fluff to fill this hour of everything-but-the-results power. It seems that last night, Haley was the weakest link… but will the voters agree with that… TONIGHT~!?
Nothing new or innovative in the cold open… so cue the credits, judges, and Seacrest…
Seacrest hypes the 72 million votes that came in last night (from a 9th-grade class in Sheboygan, WI), along with Enrique Iglesias, Jordin Sparks, Lady Gaga, and Steven Tyler’s new video… oh, and we also have results! That’s as good a time as any to re-introduce the Final Four… and then proceed right into the montage of everything we sat through for two hours last night (did I mention filler?)…
From there, it’s James and Scotty dueting on “Start a Band” (Brad Paisley/Keith Urban). Their voices really don’t mesh all that well… then again, they’re not being judged on it, so just relax and enjoy the song, right…?
Back with the guys and Seacrest on the couch to promote more audition stops… then we get our second duet with Lauren and Haley doing “Gunpowder and Lead” (Miranda Lambert) – wait a minute, Miranda’s marrying into The Voice, is this a good idea? – and doing better than the guys…
We then segue into Plugville, as a certain sponsoring operating system (but not the one that sells the Idol studio tracks) shows the Idols webchatting with folks back home. It’s… um… context-free.
Dim the lights… here we go…
- We’re sending the Idols to safety on the Golden Stools tonight…
- First one into the Top 3, is Rossville, Georgia’s own Lauren Alaina.
Back to a Lady Gaga concert performance clip… so the “performance” from Gaga was basically some semi-random concert footage (“You and I”) aired for the Idols in their hotel? Um… yeah. Thanks for all the extra effort you put in dressing like a raccoon for an hour in a soundstage this week and the time it took to cut the DVD. Don’t overexert yourself.
From there, we segue into Enrigue Iglesias’ “Dirty Dancer” and “I Like It” live-on-tape on the Idol stage.
Back with a tour plug – and an attempt to make the last act look live by tossing around a big balloon like they used in the pretape – Our Friends at Ford mangle “Fireflies” (Owl City) for this week’s Pointless Music Video and a plug for the ongoing contest at the Idol website.
This week’s Idol returnee live on stage is the 6th Idol, Jordin Sparks. And by live, we mean she gets a montage of her Idol past and career highlights to lead into “I Am Woman”. Hmm… Jordin’s definitely done a bit of a makeover from the Idol days, no?
It’s 8:45pm and we have exactly one result so far – Lauren is safe, in case you forgot during the last 30 minutes of serious pointlessness.
And we’re STILL not getting results, we get another Ford Music Video. But this one is Steven Tyler’s new solo track, “Feels So Good”. What was the purpose of this hour of television again?
The longest hour in television continues… with the other Idols on stage… dim the lights… here we go… finally…
- “There’s been a lot of buzz about how strong the guys are this season”… but two girls are in the top three!?!?! HALEY IS SAFE! VFTW VICTORY! THROW OUT THE SCRIPT! OMG!
- We are losing one of the two presumptive favorites… after a…
And we’re back to the Bottom Two that were expected to be the Final Two. Dim the lights… here we go for the huge surprise…
- Scotty is safe!
- JAMES IS GOING HOME!? Wow. I mean… wow.
- Scotty, Lauren, and Haley get Hometown Hero visits this weekend.
Remember, Chris Daughtry was picked off in the Round of 4, and he did pretty well for himself. James will not be locked into the mandatory 19E contract – and will probably have a better career for it.
The penultimate week of American Idol 10 starts with three singers, and three songs each, Wednesday night. As of right now, I expect to be doing tape-delayed late-evening blogs for both the performance and results shows… see you then.
James takes us out with “Maybe I’m Amazed”. See you Wednesday night.