American Idol 9 Finals: Week 1 Results

The consensus around the Internet on last night’s Finals opener was that (1) it was mediocre and (2) there’s no obvious vote-off victim.  I still think Tim might go (even with VFTW trying to save him)… but really, there’s probably 9 of the 12 who could get voted off tonight.  The Idol Democracy online poll says that Paige should go – but there are 7 contestants within 1.8% of the bottom of the poll, so the margin of error wipes out any real predictive value.  And it appears that blew a gasket, and is “predicting” that all 12 are in danger.

So… we wander into the hour with no idea what to expect.  Which sums up the season, doesn’t it?

We start with an audition/performance montage featuring the 12 finalists…

With Ke$ha on hand to prove that you can be pitchy, dawg, and still be a star…   *cue the music*  …and cue Ryan, starting in the audience while the stage is lit in green for St. Patrick’s.  We then meet the judges.  You can see a huge gulf in the panel between Randy/Ellen on one side and Kara/Simon on the other side… as noted by bloggers all over the place.  Seems Kara has been inching closer and closer to Simon… hmm…

Uh oh… bad news… the judges’ save is back this season.  Why?  The judges can save any one contestant between this week and the top 5.  This was SO successful last year that we have to do it again?  All it did last year was extend Matt Giraud’s stay for two weeks.  Big deal.

While we digest THAT news… here’s the 7th Idol, David Cook, to do “Jumpin’ Jack Flash”.  Good job, we’ll let him come back next week… :)  OK, so he’ll be back for Idol Gives Head Back.

All that in the first 10 minutes.  It was so tiring, Ryan had to go to commercial to recover.

When we get back, it’s time to start torturing finalists determining the bottom 3… and I’ll predict right now that there is ZERO chance tonight’s eliminated singer will be saved…

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… not the damn Ford music video… I was so hoping Ford would go in another direction this season… The Black-Eyed Peas’ “Tick Tick Boom” got blown up… and each of the finalists got to design a Ford Fiesta this year.  Look, I own a Ford and I’m sick of this already.

Dim the lights… time for the torture to start…

  • Paige is summoned first… and goes directly to the Bottom Three.  That was quick.
  • Lee is next (to squeals from the audience)… he’s safe.
  • Siobhan… is safe.  You’re lucky I edit out the judges’ stupidity.
  • Aaron… is safe.  You’re really lucky I edit out the judges’ stupidity.
  • Andrew and Tim are both called… Andrew is safeTim is in the Bottom Three

Six performers left… only one goes to the B3… which one… for purposes of enhancing suspense, we’ll find out after the break…

Quick editorial comment: last season, I spent the whole season urging Fox to go to 30-minute results shows.  I still hope they make that change at some point, but if it meant more of “Sons of Tucson”, maybe we can live with 60-minute results…

We’re back… but before the results continue, we’ll take a musical break for Orianthi’s “According To You”.  From Wikipedia: Orianthi is an Aussie singer/guitarist who was going to be Michael Jackson’s lead guitarist on the “This Is It” tour… and has Idol connections: she was Carrie Underwood’s guitarist at the 2009 Grammy Awards, played guitar on Adam Lambert’s debut album, and is opening a Daughtry show next month.  She’s pretty good.  Might have to track the song down… actually, it turns out I have it from my DJ “new music” service.  Radio hath its privileges… If you missed Idol tonight, she’ll be on Jay Leno’s reborn Tonight Show tomorrow night.

OK, we’re back from break, and back to torment more singers…

  • Didi… is safe.
  • Crystal… is… modest enough to defer the talk that she has the competition “in the bag” and… well, do I have to say it?  She’s safe.
  • Katie… is safeInteresting… at some point during the show, Randy and Kara switched seats.  I wonder if the producers noticed what everyone did…
  • Michael… is safe.
  • Casey and Lacey remain… Lacey is in the Bottom Three.  Casey is safe.

Ellen is asked if she’d save any of the Bottom Three tonight.  She’s noncommittal about it.  Simon says there’s one he’d save.  He won’t have to save Tim.  Ryan says he’s safe.  VFTW Victory!

One of Paige and Lacey is leaving tonight… after the break… and after Ke$ha (featuring 3oh!3)… with her current single “Blah Blah Blah”… hmm… she seems to be equal parts cheerleader, tease, and autotune… of course, it’s another break after the song… because we have to enhance the drahma, don’tcha know?

We’re back to see who’ll be singing for their save… oh, let’s face it, we’re back to see who’s leaving…

  • And the first singer sent to the judges… is… Lacey Brown.  Paige is safe.
  • Lacey got to choose her sing-off/save song, and used Brandi Carlile’s “The Story” (from last week)… which (as I type this before the decision) is probably a mistake…
  • Simon speaks for the group – the judges will not be using the save.  Lacey Brown is going home tonight.

Your DVR cut off during the montage, most likely… 🙂 The top 11 are back Tuesday at 8/7c.  Your late local news is next…


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