Ruminations

So here I am, sitting at the palatial studios of Oldies 107.3 (ha!) after wrapping up another cheerfully mediocre 5 hours of radio (I’ve done airshifts for 9 straight days, after a while, one just runs out of things to say)…

…and there’s something I haven’t been able to shake out of my mind all week and I might as well get it out of my system (especially since so much of it played out here and on my older LiveJournal blog)…

I’ve only been fired twice in my life (well, three, if you count the time as a teenager that I threw the business’ keys at the manager’s head, but it was one of those simultaneous firing/resignation deals, I guess)…

AMF fired me in May 2001 in a one-day 20% costcutting move.  Lot of good it did them, they’re now just a brand name of the Qubica company. 🙂

And then there was the firing from a place that, to this day, I can only refer to as That Place… two years ago yesterday.

What’s odd is that I worked at That Place for 10 months — that’s it.   Of course, I had been a customer there for a couple of years before that… and I’m not a customer there now, so I guess that factors in.

But I’m digressing.  What’s odd is that even after two years — which, in case you don’t want to do the math, is 2 1/2 times longer than I worked there — I have a lot of anger about it.

I drive past That Place often — I can’t help it, it’s right in the middle of the rest of my life.  And every time I do, without a conscious thought on my part, I still get a knot in my stomach (almost like a fight-or-flight reaction, really).  And believe me, *I* don’t understand why.  Rationally, I should be long past reacting… but this isn’t a terribly rational reaction, of course.

OK, it gets better.  I was doing some websurfing recently, and came across the VCU TV/HD website, because I was bouncing through some wrestling stuff and found the VCU TV/HD piece on Richmond Lucha Libre.  I had seen it once but didn’t record it on the DVR, so I checked it out again.  Then I saw that they had another piece on… well… That Place.  So I clicked on it, figuring I’d see some improv.  Instead, the first shot was of the back office at That Place… and of the owner and one of her key staff members.  I can’t tell you what the second shot was, I didn’t last that long.  It took about 10 seconds for me to close the webpage.  And again, the reaction amazed me — I closed the page faster than I realized what I was doing, and then I honestly wondered why I did it.  So, as an experiment while I typed this up, I went back to the page and tried to watch it again.  This time, it took about 8 seconds to turn it off, and I hadn’t even remembered to turn the volume up on the production mixer I’m working off of.

It’s not like I’m completely wacko about it – I do still peek in on their website occasionally, as I get a kick out of seeing that there are still things on the site that I put there back then.   No, I’m not going to say what… that, as Patrick McGoohan heard every week on The Prisoner, “would be telling”.

What’s kind of sad, though, is that there are people I really do like watching perform who are in That Place’s ensemble.  One of them is even on my friends list here.  Most are from the late, lamented, Komic Sutra ensemble.  And because of all of this, I won’t be seeing them perform anytime soon.  And that bothers me on a rational level, but it’s certainly not something I want to fight my own deeper emotions about.

There isn’t a real explanation or even some bolt of self-realization here… just the thought that I don’t think any of us fully understands ourselves… and this was just a small bit of proof of that.

And now, back to the real world… I have to stop, actually, my sunburned arms are bothering me now — I went out to Colonial Downs yesterday for “the luckiest day of the year”, spent a lot of time in the sun and almost as much time making really bad bets.  I lost on favorites, I lost on longshots, I even let other people make suggestions and lost on those… *sigh*… if you can’t cash a bet on the luckiest day of the year, when can you?

Until next time…

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Author: Rob Hoffmann

Occasional blogger, full-time computer techie, radio producer (basketball, mostly), improv tech guy, generally nice person (if you ask me).

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