Feel-good nonsense

You’ve seen those Hallmark-card-like emails that go around… well, I got one that was just feel-good crap, crap, crap…  let me shred it for you:

~Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.

The hell you say.  There aren’t that many people that think of me at all, it’s incredibly unlikely that anyone thinks of me at that point of their day.

~At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

This is kind of a cheat.  Take family out of this, and then tell me if that’s true.

~The only reason someone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

Crap.  It’s my experience that people hate me because I won’t change to be like them.

~There are at least 2 people in this world that would die for you.

Crap.  Such an unprovable statement as to be beyond junk.  How would you know someone would die for you?  Hire a person to follow you around with a gun and see who’d jump in the way?  Spare me…

~You mean the world to someone.

Crap.  I’ve been single all my life and haven’t even done a credible job forming personal relationships.  So, again, take family out of this and there’s nobody to whom I mean “the world”.

~Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.

Junk.  Unprovable again… it’s a nice, feel-good, thing to say but it’s junk.  What’s the point of believing that such a person exists?  Wouldn’t you rather know all the people who love you?

~When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

This one might be salvageable.  It’s to be hoped that you learn from your mistakes… but “the biggest mistake ever”… until the next one, maybe?

~When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look again.

Crap.  I have a lot of experience in having backs turned on me.  All you get if you take a second look is another look at the same backs…

~Always remember the compliments you received. Forget the rude remarks.

Crap. Compliments are nice, but you learn more from the rude remarks.   Now, if you can filter out the real compliments from the smoke-blowing, then maybe you have something.

Yeah, I’m not in the best of moods about feel-good crap… there’s so much Hallmark nonsense flying around the Internet this time of year.  Save it.

If someone means something to you, just say it already.  Skip the greeting-card-level junk mail and just say what’s on your mind.


Author: Rob Hoffmann

Occasional blogger, slightly less occasional improv player/ref/tech, full-time computer techie, radio producer (basketball, mostly), generally nice person (if you ask me).

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