Another Wednesday night…

…and another finger up my ass. I really don’t know why I allow myself to take this… it tears at me to know that I can sit in a room of 25 people and not even exist, but here I am. Another CSz practice, and as soon as “player” activities start, I might as well be f’n invisible. I wouldn’t even be here, but I committed to a post-practice meeting that does mean something. So it all works out. Sort of… I expect another wish of mine to get trashed later when we do the meeting to plan Friday’s CSz Awards party. I would have liked to host. Ain’t no chance in hell… after all, I’m not a “player”.

Christine got wind of my request to be pulled from her shows… she wants to “talk”. You know what that means, when someone wants to “talk”… they’re not happy and I’m about to find out.

It’s just been a rotten week… I know I’m in a funk when I can’t even get excited about doing a fill-in on Oldies (like last night)… all I thought was that it was disrupting other things I could be doing. It doesn’t help when I’m asked to replicate the exact show the DJ who’s off would have done… I didn’t, but that’s also going to cause me grief later. And the station’s stalling on my Sunday Top Ten concept, looks like it’s going to slide at least ANOTHER week.

I’m both very comfortable being a lone wolf and very sick of it.

I think that’s why I’m ripping myself to shreds.

— interrupted here —

Back now… one of the CSz players came over (yes, so I do actually exist) and after listening to an edited version of this rant, said that I need a vacation.

He’s right.

Too bad I probably can’t get any useful time off from Anthem for at least a month. Well, that’s OK, I probably need a couple weeks to organize my plans and work out my finances.

I know there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

I just hope it’s not SuperTrain.


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