Looking in the mirror

So it hit me around 12:30 AM today… right now, I have reached a point in my life where any reasonably talented monkey could do what I do for all three of my jobs.  At Anthem, I’ve been reduced to somewhere around 400 password resets a week (oh, yeah, I get a couple of trouble tickets that I get to “fix” — the fixes are either obvious or don’t exist — I haven’t done any real troubleshooting in months)… at Oldies, I do a couple hours grunt work and a 6-hour show that (as far as we can tell) nobody listens to… and at Comedy Alley, I have reached the point of frustration to where I managed to cover myself in a cup of diet Coke when I let my frustration out by trying to throw the cup of soda across a parking lot.  It went up instead of out and the soda covered me… kind of a symbol of the night. 

I mean, what should I feel when I do what I can to try to help during the shows and either I get no response or negative response?  OK, one player (Tim) comes over each show and makes sure to say “good show”, but other than that, you wouldn’t know I was there.  And it’s not like I’m expecting effusive praise… just constructive criticism and an occasional “thanks”.  Instead, it’s silence and a feeling that after several months, I don’t have a clue what they want out of me — and that’s despite the fact that I keep asking for assistance!  I’m going to take a weekend off — not sure which one, maybe Super Bowl weekend or the one before — from the Alley.  Maybe a weekend away will help.

Then I plan to make a trip down to Alabama to visit my old wrestling colleague Brian “Dexter Holley” Holland to check out his new promotion — he’s bringing in all kinds of names to a show on Feb. 26 and I’m going to check it out.  Plus I’ve never been to Dothan, AL.  That’ll take me out of everything for a weekend… which might be the best thing for me.

I guess I just need something to prove that I mean something somewhere.

Funny — this sounds like the teenagers I’ve been talking to at the Alley… proof that you can have a confidence crisis at any age…


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