Millionaire update (no news is no news)

No phone call, so I’m not going to play Millionaire this time.  Maybe it’s time to send a video for the daytime show…

As promised, the answers to my 5-question Millionaire Fastest Finger quiz:

Question 1
Put these words in order to form the name of a swing band…
1. daddy
2. voodoo
3. big
4. bad
3-4-2-1: Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

Question 2
Put these Alice in Wonderland characters in order of appearance, starting with the earliest…
1. Queen of Hearts
2. Mad Hatter
3. White Rabbit
4. Alice
4-3-2-1: It took a second to remember if the Queen was before or after the Hatter.

Question 3
Put these countries in order of total land mass, starting with the largest…
1. Sudan
2. China
3. Malta
4. Nicaragua
2-1-4-3: Either you had an idea, or it was a guess.  I had an idea.

Question 4
Put these fruit drinks in order of their introduction in the United States…
1. Capri Sun
2. Snapple
3. Kool Aid
4. Hi-C
3-4-2-1: I was sure that Capri Sun was last.  It was a guess on whether Kool Aid or Hi-C was first.

Question 5
Put these astronomical events in order, starting with the earliest…
1. Pluto discovered
2. First pulsar discovered
3. Neptune discovered
4. Light speed calculated
4-3-1-2: Neptune and Pluto were discovered before we were looking for radio waves in the sky…

Well, if this goes well, maybe there’ll be a summer 2010 prime-time edition?

That, or off to the videotape…

OK, the SIXTH try is the charm…

As you may – or may not – know, ABC is bringing back “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” for a 10th-anniversary event in August.  There will be 11 shows, and they’re taping in New York in late July and early August.

They also brought back the phone qualifying game.  The game consists of answering five “Fastest Finger” questions and you get just 10 seconds for each one.  If you get all 5, you are eligible for one taping date.  ABC projects that roughly there will be 130,000 attempts per day, the 11 shows tape on 6 taping days (one show the first day, 2 each of the last 5 days), and (by ABC’s estimate) 3% of the pool will qualify.  There are 5 spots in the Ring of Fire (the fastest-finger game on ABC) available to phone game players on each episode.  So if you do get all 5 correct, and you don’t pick the one-taping day, you’re shooting for 10 spots on two tapings against roughly 7800 other people (give or take a considerable margin of error considering I’m doing the math while typing this blog entry!).   So it’s a 1-in-780 chance.  Better than Mega Millions, right?

You’re allowed one phone game attempt a day.  Today was day 6.  Days 1-5 were… suboptimal (going out on question 5, 4, 4, 3, and 4, in order – I kept notes!).  Tonight, though… success.  If I get randomly selected, I’ll get a call on Thursday to verify that I’m eligible, and if I am (yes, I am), I’d tape in New York on July 30.  Now that I’ve qualified, I don’t get to play again – you’re only allowed one successful attempt.

Realistically, the taping isn’t likely to happen.  But hey, given the job situation, having this to keep my spirits up for a few days is a good thing, right?  Right.

If you’d like to take a shot, the game is open through Wednesday night (7/15), daily from 7pm to 3am Eastern, at 1.800.999.7878.   You can also attempt to qualify by sending a video explaining why you’d be a wonderful Millionaire contestant – go to abc.com for details on that process.

To give you an idea of what you’re up against, I’m going to post the questions and options – but not the correct answers (those will come on Thursday) – for my successful attempt tonight.  Keep in mind that if you call, you’ll get each question at fairly high speed… so keep a pen, paper, and a working knowledge of shorthand ready for your attempt…

Question 1
Put these words in order to form the name of a swing band…
1. daddy
2. voodoo
3. big
4. bad

Question 2
Put these Alice in Wonderland characters in order of appearance, starting with the earliest…
1. Queen of Hearts
2. Mad Hatter
3. White Rabbit
4. Alice

Question 3
Put these countries in order of total land mass, starting with the largest…
1. Sudan
2. China
3. Malta
4. Nicaragua

Question 4
Put these fruit drinks in order of their introduction in the United States…
1. Capri Sun
2. Snapple
3. Kool Aid
4. Hi-C

Question 5
Put these astronomical events in order, starting with the earliest…
1. Pluto discovered
2. First pulsar discovered
3. Neptune discovered
4. Light speed calculated

If you care to guess, feel free, but to be fair (as these questions are being used throughout the 11 days of the phone game), I won’t confirm or deny the correct answers until Thursday.

Yes, I have no blog post

The real world has been so depressing lately, I haven’t been motivated to snark at it.

When there’s something fun to say, I’ll say it.

Most likely, it’ll be when the best improv in Richmond returns to the stage in two weeks. 

Well… if you want to do something that’ll feel good, stop by Qdoba tomorrow (5-8 pm at Chesterfield, Willow Lawn or White Oak only) and “Share The Power Of A Wish”.  If you’re into Mexican food, part of the proceeds go to the Make A Wish Foundation.  If you’re not, you can still spin the prize wheel for $1.  It’s a good cause, and these days, good causes need all the help they can get.

Until then, back to the job hunt… and I’ll see you on the radio.  In case you’ve forgotten, that’d be 107.3 BBT (107.3/100.3 FM) Saturdays 10am-3pm and Sundays noon-5pm.

Keeping on keeping on…

A few quick notes in search of a blog post…

• Random Acts this past weekend was terrific.  I caught both nights, which gave me a chance to try to lay a trap for the Random Actor who played “Dr. Le Faux” in the first show of each doubleheader, “Ask Le Faux”.  Patrick Raines played the role of the self-important, somewhat foppish, French “café doctor”.  After seeing the show on Friday, and seeing that the concept was the good Doctor answering written questions from the audience… I did a quick Google Translate on a simple question and brought it to Saturday’s show.  All I wanted to know was “Pourquoi les imbéciles sont-ils amoureux?”.  I figured he’d never use it, and certainly never get it right.  You know what’s coming, right?  Sure, you do.  Not only did he use the question, he correctly translated it as “Why do fools fall in love?”*  Thus, I was reminded why one never tricks a trickster.   Random Acts is back at the HATTheatre on July 24-25 with “The Last Greatest Invention” at 7:30 and “Mainstage” at 9.  Yes, I will remind you.  Facebookers can join the HATTheatre and Random Acts Improv Comedy Troupe groups for updates.
• And what a week it was, eh?  Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays, Fred Travalena, and – of course – the King of Pop.  I did a 30-minute block of Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5 late Sunday on 107.3 BBT by way of tribute, but otherwise left the depressing stuff out of the show.  There had been enough media attention on all the negative, so I wanted to just play the music and give everyone a death-notice-free zone for as much of the weekend as possible.  I hope it worked…
• Looking ahead, of course, it’s Independence Day weekend ahead… too bad there’ll be no fireworks at the Diamond in Richmond this year… and no celebrations at the Richmond Raceway Complex.  Right now, I’m leaning toward Colonial Downs’ fireworks Saturday night…
• And there’s less than 6 weeks left in my full-time employment.  Feel the excitement.   I still can’t say much… for a while… other than HIRE ME!?!?

* There is no connection between that question and any other events that may or may not have happened this weekend.  None.  At all.  Really.

Let’s Try This Again: Random Acts Improv June 26-27

Sarcasm alert starts here.  Since I did such a wonderful job getting people to go to Random Acts’ May shows, I’m going to try again…   Sarcasm alert ends here.

Random Acts Improv Comedy is doing their monthly two-night stand this weekend at the HATTheatre in Richmond’s West End.

There are two shows each night:

• 7:30 PM – ASK LE FOUX (all ages) – This appears to be a new show format, so once again, we go to the Random Acts PR Department: “Have you ever had a question you couldn’t get an answer to? Have you ever pondered life’s great mysteries only to shrug your shoulders in frustration? Well, frustrate no longer! Straight off his European tour, Dr. Pierre Le Foux is dazzling his audiences with his amazing ability to answer all manner of questions with 100% accuracy. Using the controversial ‘bull d’improv’ technique, Dr. Le Foux has gone from smart to really smart. Now you can see him in June! Along with a group of American doctors eager to learn Le Foux’s methods, you will be in for an amazing night. Dr. Le Foux is coming to your town…and he KNOWS you want to be there. Don’t believe me? Just remember, the doctor is in…fallible! Don’t miss this hilarious improvised comedy show built around a doctor that uses an unusual method to help his patients.”
• 9:00 PM – RANDOM ACTS MAINSTAGE (mature audiences) – no holds barred short-form improv.   As with any improv show, the larger and more involved the audience is, the better the show goes (HINT HINT HINT).

OK… it’s listed as two shows, but if you want to pretend it’s one show with a long intermission (for scheduling purposes), feel free.  That’s what I do.

It’s $7 for one show, $10 for both – unless you’re on Facebook, in which case you should go to HATTheatre’s fan page and get the sooper sekrit code that will save you $2/ticket.

See you there?

Update Central

I have a lot of posts that need small updates.  So… Hier ist das Update:

Our outdoing has been outdone?Well, Phoenix didn’t manage to lose two hockey teams.  Yet.  The bankruptcy judge in Phoenix kind of rewrote bankruptcy law in such a way that nobody is happy, but the Coyotes will almost certainly stay in Glendale in 2009-10.  So either the NHL or some new owner gets to bleed tens of millions of dollars because Gary Bettman won’t allow two teams in the Greater Toronto Area.  Brilliant.  This is the kind of management that aspires to drop the NHL behind MLS on the American sports totem pole…

Speaking of screwing up a good thing,the Richmond area’s continued dithering about where baseball should be played cost us the first try at bringing the Connecticut Defenders in for 2010.  The Eastern League is rushing to get a team in here before the independent Atlantic League does – so there will be baseball, in Richmond, in 2010.  After that?  Who knows?  There’s a fairly inexpensive plan to lop the upper deck off the Diamond and renovate the lower deck… and then there’s the plan to pave over hundreds of years of history in Shockoe Bottom.  The SportsQuest folks who are (slowly) building a sports complex in Chesterfield have also indicated they might build a ballpark.  Someday.  Richmond is going to screw this up, mark my words…

Now this went better…GSN has rolled out the first few new shows from the upfront presentation.  Deal or No Deal is airing daily, and 1 vs 100 is on weekends (speaking of which, if 1 vs 100 Xbox Live pans out, that may get me to invest in the console).  And last Saturday, GSN premiered Big Saturday Night, featuring 20Q and The Money List.  The two game shows worked well – Cat Deeley is a visually-pleasing and otherwise-capable traffic cop for 20Q, Hal Sparks has promise as the sarcastic “computer”, Mr. Q, and the gameplay is definitely fun.  And I thought The Money List got screwed by Fox (as The Rich List), so having it come back was a treat.  Fred Roggin got a little over-dramatic (and I think he needs a voiceover guy or co-host to play off), but the lists are fun to guess along with (or shout at the TV with!).  The only problem?  The other hour – the interminable Big Saturday Night sketches and games.  I’m going to give them another chance on Saturday – but if the BSN segments go as badly as I expect, I’ll be running the DVR on the BSN-free reruns of 20Q and The Money List on Sundays.

People are still reading this?I still get a few hits a week on that year-old cheap shot at ComedySportz Richmond.  People… CSz Richmond is dead, the post was outdated shortly after I ran it, and there’s even a link to a more up-to-date post (which nobody reads).  Besides, if you want to talk improv in Richmond, you’re talking Random Acts.  And I will… in a separate post, since they’re back next weekend for two nights at the HATTheatre.

The AI machine rolls on…Kris Allen, Adam Lambert (of the least-surprising Rolling Stone interview ever.  EVER.), and Allison Iraheta are working on albums… and the AI9 auditions are already underway.  Although it’s interesting – only the first round of auditions is taking place now.  The callbacks for the judges can’t happen yet – 19 doesn’t know who the judges are going to be yet!  Cowell and Jackson are apparently under contract, but Abdul and DioGuardi aren’t.  If I were the folks at 19, and I’m not, I’d future-endeavor both of them and find a new female judge.  One thing I wouldn’t do is have 4 judges again.  Having 4 judges on Idol is as bad as having three sportscasters in the booth at a football game.  There’s just not enough room for all the egos.  Cut back to 3 judges, AI.  Save our sanity.

Why’d they let Speidi back in the country?I mean, really, couldn’t NBC have burned their passports or something? I am so sick of those Bible-thumping hypocrites. 

And finally… this.  Thanks, Wade, that was… interesting.

This just in…

VH1 has apparently cancelled “Best Week Ever”.

Which comes as a surprise, because I wasn’t aware that VH1 was still broadcasting.

Well, with the competition out of the way, maybe the Richmond-based vlog “One Week of Awesome” will make a comeback. 

Coming Soon: A “Classic” Mistake?

Last weekend, K95 held its annual Countryfest concert at the Snagajob.com Pavilion at Innsbrook.  Today, Radio One is having its annual Stone Soul Festival at Brown’s Island.

What you may not know is that both events were originally scheduled for the Classic Amphitheatre at the Richmond Raceway Complex, and both were quietly moved.

Since NASCAR bought the Complex from the State Fair, and waited out the construction of the new fairgrounds at Meadow Farm, there’s been a quiet concern that NASCAR had no use for the Amphitheatre.

The shifts of these two festival events out of the Complex is another piece of evidence for that concern.

So the question may now be when, rather than “if”, NASCAR plows the Ampitheatre under for more parking for the Raceway.

Now I realize NASCAR isn’t a concert promoter.  However, there are several in Virginia, any of which would probably put together a solid spring/summer concert series at the Classic if they were allowed to.

Yes, we have the National… Innsbrook… Brown’s Island… and someone will eventually reopen the bankrupt Toad’s Place.

But the Amphitheatre was good for those acts/events that were too large for the small theatres, and too small for the Coliseum.  Where will those acts go now?  The Charlottesville Pavilion?    And if NASCAR does bulldoze the Amphitheatre… do the Fair buildings go next?  There are a lot of community events that might never find another venue if that happens…

The Richmond area has lost baseball, hockey, and is poised to lose a concert venue.  How many more entertainment options do we have to lose before the Smart Folks realize that all work and nowhere to play makes Richmond a dull, dull community?   And that dull communities have a harder time attracting new residents?

Why I’m Not Watching “I’m A Celebrity…”

The title of the show is “I’m A Celebrity! Get Me Out Of Here!”.  Right?

I challenge you to find a celebrity in this list:

• Heidi & Spencer Pratt – From what I’ve seen on E’s “The Soup”, these are two profoundly socially-retarded Valley Brats from MTV’s “The Hills”.  They have already quit the show several times in two days, claiming to be “Super-celebrities”.  Self-absorbed jerks, maybe…
• Janice Dickinson – Badly-aging supermodel.  Arrogant twit who’s had more surgeries than most football players.
• John Salley – Former NBA player, last seen hosting Fox’s “Best Damn Sports Show”.  Seems like a nice guy.  What’s he doing in this mess?
• Lou Diamond Phillips – Has he done anything since “La Bamba”?
• Sanjaya Malakar – American Idol washout.  His hair will be listed as a separate celebrity*.
• Stephen Baldwin – The least of the Baldwin Boys.  Brother Alec’s “30 Rock” success had nothing to do with this, right?
• Torrie Wilson – Former pro-wrestling valet/wrestler who wasn’t even all that relevant there.  Divorced her pro-wrestler husband when she realized he was short*.
• Frangela – Snarky comments on every VH1 “I Love The (insert decade here)” series are enough to make them celebrities?  And I think NBC is counting the two members of Frangela as one celebrity.  They’d be the least of this bunch if it weren’t for…
• Patti Blagojevich – …who is, apparently, a “celebrity” because her husband is a felon** who tried to sell Illinois’ vacant US Senate seat – and because NBC was miffed that a judge wouldn’t allow Rod to go to Costa Rica and play.

NBC is counting on this show to run four nights a week for three weeks, and three more nights in the fourth.  Fifteen shows about a group of “celebrities” who make D-Lister Kathy Griffin look like a superstar.  And this is the network that cancelled “Deal or No Deal”, “1 vs 100” (about to get a second life as an XBOX Live game show), and “Identity”… and that so screwed up the simple matter of who hosts The Tonight Show that they gave 5 hours a week of primetime to Jay Leno starting this fall.  Does anyone wonder why NBC, as a whole, is about as relevant as MyNetworkTV***?

Hey, at least Wipeout is back (second episode of the new season is tomorrow night).  It’s still silly, but it’s grown on me.  So… good night, and big balls.

*This may not be, strictly speaking, true.
** Strictly speaking, he’s actually an “accused felon”, but I mean… we’ve all heard the tapes!
***…whose entire 2009-10 original primetime schedule is WWE SmackDown.  That’s it.  The rest of their schedule is reruns of syndicated programming.

Blatant Free Plug: Random Acts May 29-30

Could the topic line be any more obvious?

Random Acts Improv Comedy(warning: stale page) is doing their monthly two-night stand this weekend at the HATTheatre in Richmond’s West End.

There are two shows each night:

• 7:30 PM – CAMP PAIN TRAIL (all ages) – I haven’t seen this format yet, so here’s what their publicity says: “Random Acts Improv Comedy invites you back to summer camp in an election themed improv comedy show, CAMP PAIN TRAIL. Sing songs! Perform skits! Make crafts! Elect your leader!   As camp members, the audience will sing songs, interact with candidates, and some will even become running mates! CAMP PAIN TRAIL is a limited run, so don’t miss out. Come see the candidates! The media coverage! The scandals! The debates! Bring your bug spray and get ready to laugh…it’s time to visit CAMP PAIN TRAIL.”
• 9:00 PM – RANDOM ACTS MAINSTAGE (mature audiences) – no holds barred short-form improv.   As with any improv show, the larger and more involved the audience is, the better the show goes (HINT HINT HINT).

It’s $7 for one show, $10 for both – unless you’re on Facebook, in which case you should go to HATTheatre’s fan page and get the sooper sekrit code that will save you $2/ticket.

See you there?